I received a message recently that evokes the theme of accompanying children with astrology. I often approach this topic in bits and pieces in the comments. However, this time the message that evoked the path of life of children in astrology stimulated me to bring more complete and comprehensive elements of reflection on the issue.
The question was more specific than that because it referred more specifically to accompaniment on the way of life. Nevertheless, it raises more generally the subject of accompanying children with astrology. Here is the message I received. I transcribed it in full because it is a trove of questions and information on a situation that many astrology enthusiasts cross.
I have the pleasure to follow your work for 2 years, a few days ago I listened to your interview with Emilie Morel on Lunar Nodes. An exciting and very rewarding astrological moment! Thank you for this beautiful sharing!
A question emerged because of the interview, in which you did the zodiacal tour of the Lunar Nodes.
Personally I have my North node in Gemini, and I confirm that in my childhood I had to feel this form of lightness of Gemini which caused my need to give an axis to my life and a precise direction to be exacerbated.
I am today mother of a little girl of 1 year and a half and of course, I could not help but go to see the position of her Nodes. North node in Leo. As a mom and a Leo, I said to myself, « Oulala, I will unconsciously participate in feeding this wound … » Especially since I am doing a conscientious work on my report to the authority on how to assert myself without imposing on the other!
My question is, how can I, as a parent, use this astrological notion to accompany my daughter on her own path while allowing me to evolve? I also suppose that the childhood wounds indicated by the North node do not come only from parents. What would be the posture to have to allow my daughter to stand with this spine: North Node in Leo in House VIII, Southern Node in Aquarius House II?
If this can be the subject of an individual session, I am of course, open to it.
Have a good day
A first answer
When I receive a request to study the subject of a child on behalf of a parent, I answer that it is wiser to leave astrology aside when it comes to our children.
I had a considerable number of people who told me about the disasters that followed an astrology consultation on their behalf when they were children or teenagers. The example that struck me most was that of a woman who, after asking an astrologer for advice to understand the theme of her daughter, was so affected that she changed her mind about her child and said of her; “Anyway you with your theme, you will never reach anything in life”. The child who received this sentence from her adolescence was deeply affected. It would have been better for her mother to know nothing about her child’s astrological theme.
This is the reason why I most often refuse to give information to parents about the theme of their children. Because the intention on the one hand and the emotional structure of the adult on the other hand does not always allow to use this information wisely.
I advise against this exercise in general for these two reasons. We want to be reassured about the future of our children, which is the case most of the time in this type of approach, or we want to help them in their orientation. As parents, we are the worst placed to do so. Because this intention is mixed with the projections of our desires and our fears on our children. We may be disappointed with what we hear. It is very difficult to manage that as parents. This is what the mom lived in the example I used. She was disappointed by the consultation and projected her disappointment on her daughter.
To live this experience without harm, we need to have a firmly rooted intention of pure accompaniment, renouncing any expectation of revelation satisfying our pride as parent and renouncing to want to change the trajectory of our child, even if it does not please us . You have to be strong in that intention. If we do not feel able to hold inside a speech like « I pledge to accept the choice of life of my child without seeking to modify it to make it conform to the smallest of my expectations » and to be faithful to this word in time, it is better to give up knowing the astral theme of our child.
The emotional structure
The second point is our emotional structure. This beautiful intention will crumble if what we are told shock us and our emotional structure is not able to absorb the shock quickly. It is necessary to have a calm temperament, to be soothed, to have yourself taken a step back from the existence of the need to succeed and the fear of missing or failing at something. Without a strong temperament and being quite wise, it’s hard not to be shocked emotionally by what an astrologer will tell us about our child. Why? Because all of us, as parents are looking at our children with the eyes of love. For us they are young beings to whom everything is possible, everything is allowed, everything is open, everything is offered. It is this magnificent look we have on a newborn who remains in parents’ hearts throughout their education and who makes our parental blindness as well as the greatness of our love. An astrologer will see in the map of the sky of our child what characterizes it, determines it and reduces it to a much lower number of potentialities. In addition, even in this reduction, he will highlight some difficulties that, already difficult to swallow, we will project ourselves into the sufferings of our child. We must be well anchored emotionally to accept all this without the possibility or the disappointment that could come to destroy our love of parent.
Our children need our love from us more than anything else in the world. We must be careful with this approach that can taint our love for our children if we are not fully able to love their souls and their choice of destiny whatsoever.
A third parameter intervenes which may be detrimental to this approach, which is even less controlled. This is the astrologer. Astrology and its learning is not a school of human accompaniment. The astrologer has an interpretative knowledge of astral data; it is his field of competence. Like a doctor, he is not necessarily trained in how to tell us about a tumor. Some have a developed humanism, others do not. The shock can be violent if the lack of awareness of the effect of speech is ignored. Astrological information must be exchanged to ensure a process of accompaniment, a deep understanding of the human being. This accompaniment must accept all forms of life without judgment of any kind and be able to express it without coldness or detachment, nor fear, but with a healthy and deep spirituality that is aware of the evolutionary process. When this is not the case, it can hurt rather than facilitate the integration of information.
I had an example recently with the case of a mother who wanted me to do the theme of her daughter in writing. I refused the service because I cannot exchange in writing. It misses the immediate feedback of the person that allows to accompany each word said on the subject. It is a sine qua non condition in my practice of astrology, I cannot otherwise. With the sensitivity of a teenager, this condition is even stronger. The mother found an astrologer who delivered a written analysis of the theme of her daughter and she was very disturbed for a while.
Everything is always right. It is not a question of blaming oneself or blaming others when one has a bad experience. We are part of our experience. If we had a bad experience, it was probably that we needed to live it to understand something. The important thing is to change your choices for the next time.
The path of life of our children
I now come to the heart of the question that was asked of me in this message, after this long preamble that seems important to me to frame our use of astrology with our little blond heads, black, chestnut, red or other.
When we understand the power and intelligence of the path of life and the fear of the North Node, as a parent, we rush to the theme of our children to know how to avoid this fear. We feel guilty when we feel a resonance with who we are or what we do.
It is full of good feelings and intentions, but it is useless except perhaps to add confusion and make things worse. This is not desirable. We are no stronger with our will, our good feelings and our little muscular arms, than the power of a soul who has decided to make a special experience. Therefore, if we try to change the course of our child there will be another way that will not pass through us so that he can experience it.
We are neither responsible nor guilty of the reason why a soul who has become our child has chosen this path and will encounter this fear, even though it is obvious that it will come through us. If we want to counter the plan of the soul of our child, we are fooling ourselves. The energy of life will find another axis to which we can do nothing, and if we insist, we may end up being separated from our child so that his plan follows his path. That or something else, I do not know. What I know is that the plan is going on. This fear must be imprinted. The soul is willing, it needs this experience to evolve. It is sometimes painful to accept as a parent, but wisdom wants us to accept it.
I realized in a concrete and palpable way the role I played in the fear of one of my children, when he said to me one day with a frightened face, as if it brought up an old demon, that he did not understand the life choices that one makes for oneself, because it hurts others. In a split second, I made the link between his life path, our common history and my choice to separate from his mother when he was a child. That had made him suffer, his mother too, and left that mark in him.
Was I aware at the time that my choice was going to affect him? Yes of course. Did I not care? Of course not! I adored my children, suffered from their own pain, and I suffered from being separated from them too. I had no pleasure in creating this confusion, either for them or their mother. It was a brutal tear for me that took years to heal. Could I do otherwise? No. It was impossible. It was an unavoidable life choice. I did not need astrology to be aware that it would leave traces. We do not need astrology to be aware of our parenthood. If I had been told at the time that this act would probably be one of the founding acts of the setting up of the great fear of my child, I would have just suffered more, longer, and for nothing. I might have rejected my decision, and I would have made it later, because it was not avoidable, and it probably would have had a worse consequence. I do not have much doubt about that. I did not have a conscience at all that could make another choice.
So dear S. I understand in the depths of my guts the question you ask me. You ask me how to evolve knowing that you can be one of the « causes » of your daughter’s fear. Here is my answer.
Be the best person you can be, as you are today. If you are Leo, that is what you need, this is the energy to go through the experience of this life. Do not try to be Aquarius or whatever. Be the best Leo you can be. Conscious and proud. You are not responsible for your child’s injuries.
You are the gift by which your daughter can now experience the beginning of her life path through you.
What matters in your relationship is not the pre-programmed buttons that make you react to each other, but the love you feed each other, and the awareness you can put on your relationship and your buttons. Often children teach us. Today, you have important information to understand your role. The idea is not to transform it, but to play it with more awareness, to allow you to welcome, when it is the moment, the word of your child on these sensitive points. Remember that if you are perhaps a symbol of your child’s greatest fear, you are also one of her greatest hopes.
Kindly and marvellously translated by Michel Mathieu & Kathy Maloney (Full of gratitude for them)
Exercez votre discernement. Ne prenez pas ce qui est écrit comme parole d'évangile. Interrogez votre ressenti à propos de ce que vous lisez.