By modifying pages of this site that I am in the process of gentlyreworking to make clearer, I came across this article that I wrote in my old blog from December 2010. In reading it again, I thought it was important that I share it here given all the questions that everyone asks again and again. Here it- is. Good reading.
When one walks in one’s life and one wants to change, evolve, one can no longer remain locked in beliefs that one is a victim of life. We realize that the situations we live in, no matter how painful they are, are all ideal situations to move us forward in the direction that suits us best.
To get out of victimization requires that we become aware of our individual responsibility in the stages of life that we have gone through or are going through. This awareness is sometimes difficult to achieve.
A child is abused by his parents. From this abuse, he keeps deep wounds. As an adult he feels handicapped compared to other adults who seem comfortable in areas where he feels inhibition, stuck with an unbearable inner malaise. He feels different and feels an injustice from having to live with the aftermath of abuse.
What is his responsibility? He was mistreated, it’s a fact. He was abused. Everyone can agree about that. Our sense of injustice tends to say that this child is a victim of his parents who are 100% responsible for the situation. The child can seek redress and get it or not. On facts dating back 20, 30, or 40 years, at a time when thrashing children was part of accepted educational principles, he is likely to get compensation. If he does not get it, what’s left of him? Stay in his state of victim and mope all his life?
It is at this juncture that one decides whether or not to become responsible for one’s life. 100% responsible. But how to fight against the feeling that we have been a victim? How to evacuate the feeling of injustice that one has undergone? This does not erase by itself all the slapping, humiliation, damage, abandonment, violation … And the more it has been hard, the more one feels unjustly flouted, dismissed from his life, neglected.
So what is our responsibility in all this violence?
If we believe that life is a chance and that we are born from a series of biochemical reactions, that our consciousness exists only in the connection of our neurons and that death carries everything with it, then, it is almost impossible to access an awareness of our personal responsibility in our lives. We can only mope until the end of our existence and whine about our misfortunes. In a Darwinistand rationalist conception of existence where no form of existence exists apart from the manifestation of the body, life is profoundly hopeless. Injustice dominates the world.
If we believe that we exist before birth, and that we choose our educators, parents, siblings, social background, nation, culture … date, time and day of birth according to a program chosen in advance, then we can begin to think that we have a personal responsibility in the choice of our lives. So we can begin to think that we are not a victim and that there is something to understand and discover behind our apparent lives.
We can then conceive that we have decided to be elevated by bearing on ourselves weights, crosses, sorrows, and suffering, to make us go forward like racingstallions once we reach adulthood.
When one wants to prepare his body for great physical performance, he is subjected to all sorts of tortures. We run with weights on our shoulders, we get muscle at the cost of great effort, we do push-ups, we train tirelessly, we take a super demanding and unforgiving coach, we fight, we confront, we put ourselves to the test of the worst unceasingly to be at the top, the day of our meeting with ourselves, for this marathon, for this championship, for this fight or for this climb that we want to achieve at the best of ourselves!
We are able to choose extremely hard events to get the best from us and to make our performances excellent. Why, what we do to our body for a purpose that we choose, would we not be able to do it with our soul and our consciousness?
And if we had chosen our parents, spouses … the best partners to coach us to go to our hidden goal? And if we were so much underrated that we did not realize that all these tests had no other goal than to raise us much higher than we imagine? Like weights that would have been weighed on our souls to learn how to make it stronger and greater. And if instead of whining about our fate and the wounds of all its long years of intensive trials, we decided to take advantage today of what life has strengthened in us? And if today we decided to withdraw the weights to start running and to fly on our own? And if we decided today to become 100% responsible and take advantage of our training to start the race instead of continuing to complain about the abuse inflicted by all these coaches? Perhaps we would have the joy of discovering which finish line we have prepared to cross? Which summit did we aim to climb? How high to jump? What a joy to discover?
Maybe we would find out who we are.
Kindly and marvellously translated by Michel Mathieu & Kathy Maloney (Full of gratitude for them)
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